So I am going to go on a rant here. Please don't think this type of negativity will carry on. This is just something I am sure everyone deals with and I want to throw it out there.
Everyone faces difficult people and relationships in their life. We all have times in our lives where we are just stressed to the max with hard relationships. In an ideal world you only deal with people you get along with. In the real world there are times you have to deal with people that for some reason or another you can't find common ground with.
I have had a lot of great friendships and relationships in my life. I have had some not so great too. I have had my share of fighting or arguments with others but normally these blow over very quickly. I don't have a long list of people I would see in public and have to bury my head. I am pretty sure I could sit in a room with almost anyone from my past and have a civil conversation. Not just that but I feel like I have peace in all my relationships. I feel like I could sit comfortably with almost any ghosts I have.
The relationships I have had that have crashed and burned and burned every bridge in between have had a few things in common. This is not me saying I am right they are wrong this is me saying these are the things I see that lead to trouble.
1) I don't feel myself around them: Have you ever dealt with people who you felt unlike yourself around. For some reason or another you get lost in the mix and you feel like you cannot be you. This is trouble! This is the set up for disaster.
2) I don't feel like they know me: Obviously if you have a relationship with someone and you feel like you can't be you, then it is pretty apparent that they don't know you. When you feel like someone doesn't know you it leads to a problem. I have also noticed this leads to people starting to believe things about you that are completely false.
3)I feel like they want me to play their way or they will pack up their crap and go home: I cannot say that I am any different. I will admit I look out for me. Selfish? Maybe. I don't do good in relationships where people expect me to be who they want me to be, do what they want me to do. I just don't. I am not a yes person. I can say no. I will say no. If it isn't what I want to do or what is good for me, my son, or my husband, I will say no. People don't like people that can say no...people like "yes" people.
Yeah so those are the common threads to the 2-3 crash and burns I feel have happened in my life. When I break it down though I feel like my good relationships reflect the exact opposite. My many relationships with friends, with co-workers, acquaintances, etc. that have worked and continue to work are with people who I feel get me, who know me and like me for me, who I can let lose around, who I can share stories with, who I can play my way or their way and it doesn't matter because we know each other well enough to know that no offense is ever meant. Those are the good ones. Those are the ones I treasure. Those are the ones I am grateful for everyday.
If you are reading this, thanks for knowing me, getting me, and letting me be me.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
MMMBop
Okay. I was a Hanson fan. A big one. My husband will say "You are a Hanson fan." That is not accurate. I was one.
I might have been a super fan. I had the posters, the cds, the videos, etc. My room really looked like Teen Beat exploded on the walls. I loved Taylor the most.
The other two..ehh...whatever, but Taylor. He was my dreamboat. I was happy to realize as I am typing this post that I do not remember his middle name. Although it seems like maybe his middle name was actually Taylor. I am fighting the urge to google it. I do remember that his birthday was something like March 14, 1983. That may be off a few days, but again I am fighting the urge to google it.
There are a few examples of my Hanson infatuation that now make me realize I had really good parents.
How Hanson Has Helped Me Realize the Awesomeness of My Parents:
Instance #1:
Not only did my parents drive me to Tulsa to see a concert, they drove me around Tulsa because I was certain I could find Hanson's house. I had no address. I just felt like we could probably drive around and spot it. My parents gave it an honest shot. My dad especially must have been a real trooper to do that.
Instance #2:
My mother took me and my friend out of school in order for us to stand in the stand by line for the Oprah show when it was in town. Hanson was the guest, of course. We got there bright and early. We waited. We waited all day and night. My mother waited with us. She listened as we broke out into tween meltdowns as our dream of seeing Hanson in person became less and less likely. She listened as the 20 hangers-on set in a circle and sang Hanson songs as the sun went down (oh my god that is the most embarrassing sentence ever typed). Neither Oprah or Hanson ever even popped their head out of a car door or anything to acknowledge the people who had waited all day. That is why I still believe Oprah is a bitch.
Instance #3:
Same Oprah story...I found out years later that my dad had gotten his hand on a ticket to the show. A ticket. Just one. He knew that me and my friend were in this together and that I wouldn't want to go without her. So not wanting to put me in a situation to choose, or to think I had to turn something down, he didn't tell me. As a parent I get that and respect it very much.
Ironically now that I think about it my friend looked a lot like a Hanson brother. I am surprised that didn't get weird fast.
I might have been a super fan. I had the posters, the cds, the videos, etc. My room really looked like Teen Beat exploded on the walls. I loved Taylor the most.
The other two..ehh...whatever, but Taylor. He was my dreamboat. I was happy to realize as I am typing this post that I do not remember his middle name. Although it seems like maybe his middle name was actually Taylor. I am fighting the urge to google it. I do remember that his birthday was something like March 14, 1983. That may be off a few days, but again I am fighting the urge to google it.
There are a few examples of my Hanson infatuation that now make me realize I had really good parents.
How Hanson Has Helped Me Realize the Awesomeness of My Parents:
Instance #1:
Not only did my parents drive me to Tulsa to see a concert, they drove me around Tulsa because I was certain I could find Hanson's house. I had no address. I just felt like we could probably drive around and spot it. My parents gave it an honest shot. My dad especially must have been a real trooper to do that.
Instance #2:
My mother took me and my friend out of school in order for us to stand in the stand by line for the Oprah show when it was in town. Hanson was the guest, of course. We got there bright and early. We waited. We waited all day and night. My mother waited with us. She listened as we broke out into tween meltdowns as our dream of seeing Hanson in person became less and less likely. She listened as the 20 hangers-on set in a circle and sang Hanson songs as the sun went down (oh my god that is the most embarrassing sentence ever typed). Neither Oprah or Hanson ever even popped their head out of a car door or anything to acknowledge the people who had waited all day. That is why I still believe Oprah is a bitch.
Instance #3:
Same Oprah story...I found out years later that my dad had gotten his hand on a ticket to the show. A ticket. Just one. He knew that me and my friend were in this together and that I wouldn't want to go without her. So not wanting to put me in a situation to choose, or to think I had to turn something down, he didn't tell me. As a parent I get that and respect it very much.
Ironically now that I think about it my friend looked a lot like a Hanson brother. I am surprised that didn't get weird fast.
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