Crooked as a Question Mark

My sister was the "pretty one." It was comical how many times people would come up and this situation would play out:

Person to Sister: "Oh, you are soooooo pretty."

Sister: "thanks!"

Person: (turning to me with a look of something less than excitement) "Hello." (Sometimes the "hello " would be "You have gotten tall," "You are so tall," "My goodness you are tall.")

As an adult I start to sort of see where all this came from. My sister was normal. She didn't have any strange objects stuck to her body in an effort to straighten anything out. I had an unfortunate set of teeth as a child. I could not even close my mouth. Picture day was always a huge let down. Retakes was just the day I strove to look good. I always knew it was coming, me in the room with all the kids that were sick on original picture day. One year I thought I looked especially stylish in my Simpson's sweater. Not sweatshirt. Sweater. I gave my best smile and the picture lady,or "self-esteem assassin" as I call her, said "maybe you should smile with your mouth closed." With my teeth playing peek- a -boo out of my lips, I embarrassingly said "I am."

My teeth were not the only things out of alignment. I had scoliosis. I had to wear a back brace for a while. Although I wore it under my clothes, it was still incredibly stupid! I even had to take it with me to church camp. I remember trying to figure out how I could hide it in my suitcase. I remember staying home the summer when I first got it. I would stay home in my back brace painting magnets all day. Yeah. That entire sentence sums up my coolness. I finally had back surgery to correct the problem.

After the surgery I got a different brace to wear. I remember being in a class that was mostly made up of cool kids. Some of the guys were tossing around a cat toy. It was a mouse or something that had a metal ball that jingled in it. I remember hearing someone shout "duck." I instantly quipped "I can't" as the cat toy struck me in the forehead. All the kids laughed. They pointed at me and laughed so hard they had to hold their stomachs. Actually, that last part is not true. That is what I FELT had happened. They might as well have poured blood on my head after they jokingly voted me prom queen. While there was laughter, there was nothing devious about it. It was all good, but I was mortified.