Having an older sibling is a guarantee for having crazy stories to tell when you are older. I have three childhood memories that puzzle me. How did I not catch on to what was really happening?
1) I always tried to fit in with my sister and her friends. During the summer, my sister would have the unwanted task of entertaining me. I always wanted to do what her and her friends were doing. One day they locked me out of the bedroom. I responded by calling my sister's friend a "b*&%H." My sister came out of her room furious. She took me and her huge boombox into the kitchen. She told me that we were going to listen to my favorite song. She just needed to rewind the tape. Then she asks me "what did you call Lori?" "I called her a b(#*H." My sister had not been rewinding the tape at all. Instead, she was recording my confession! How did I not notice that play and record were pushed down instead of rewind?
2) I have always enjoyed peanut butter and crackers. One day I ordered some from my sister, the short order cook. After I ate them, she confessed that we were out of peanut butter. So what had I just eaten? She had chewed up Ritz crackers, spit them in her hand,rolled them into a ball, and spread it onto crackers. How in the world did I not catch on?
3) One day, well before I ever wore makeup, I asked my sister to put make up on me. I set patiently while she did. I didn't pay much attention to the fact that she had not done anything other than concentrate her efforts to my upper lip. When she said she was finished, I rushed to the mirror to see how beautiful I looked; instead, I had a Pierre mustache. A sharpie, Pierre mustache. Why did I not notice that she did nothing to my eyes, lips, or cheeks?
No comments:
Post a Comment