My Olympic Dream

Once every four years, I get the desire to be athletic.  I get pumped up about fitness. Not pumped up enough to actually join a gym or do anything fitness related, just pumped up enough to fantasize about what it would be like to be an athlete.  The Olympics always starts out the same way for me. I pretend that I couldn't care less.  Then a few days in I get the itch.  I finally give in and watch a little bit only to find myself glued to the TV for the remainder of the events.  The problem this year is I have no television.  I have started sneaking off to the TV room in our apartment at night after my son is asleep.  My husband stays in and I go watch and send him random texts about how awesome someone is in a certain sport.  He will then ask me, "what race was it?" I don't know the answer.  I say "swimming." He continues to ask.  All I know is that they are swimming. Lets not get into a bunch of details.

This year, just like 2008, I have a mad crush on Michael Phelp's abdomen.  I am not the person that goes googly for guys. (Disclaimer: as a child I had JTT and Hanson posters. There, I said it.  As an adult, I do not get all pumped up over the new Brad Pitt movie or anything). The most uncomfortable and dreadful situation I could imagine is being the person in a folding chair with a male stripper dancing in front of me, while I begrudgingly put a hard earned one dollar bill in his speedo. I had to ask someone what "Magic Mike" and "Fifty Shades of Grey" were.  Michael Phelp's torso is my version of all of that.  I am pretty glad tomorrow is his last race. I am starting to feel a touch of guilt.

Great abs are not the only thing on my mind while watching the games. I also start to wonder if I could be an Olympian.  I still think that gymnastics, although I have never once done a somersault, would be my pick.  It seems like I could ace the floor routine.  My second choice would be swimming. I do not actually know how to swim. I like my feet on the bottom of the pool.   Track and field is also very intriguing.  I would say those gals have the best look to them, in my opinion.  It is so hard to pick really.

Winter games...hands down...figure skating.  That would be my sport for sure. I am pretty sure I would prefer singles.  It all goes back to that uncomfortable with a guy in front of me in spandex kind of thing.  I am also not real good at group sports. If my partner fell, I would kind of want to stab him with my toe pick.

I will admit that it is not completely out of the realm of possibilities for me to do a little pretend floor routine, without any flips, while no one is looking.