Thinking back on my dating life makes me make an "I just ate a sour lemon" face. It is painfully embarrassing to think back on the melodramatic verging on coo coo dater I was. That is why I don't think of it, but as far as telling my tales and getting to the goods I have to think just a little about it.
After my first love fizzled, the internet romance, I moved on to what some would call "my high school sweet heart." I will be calling him "jazz hands." "Jazz hands " was a nice person. He and I were together a long time. We became fat Elvis. If that makes sense to you, then you get it and if it doesn't I cannot explain it.
Jazz Hands and I, in hindsight, bickered a lot. I spend most of my time trying to be what I thought he would want me to be. (This was no fault of his. This was my own thing.) If he liked a band, I liked the band just as much. If he liked a movie, it was my favorite too. If he wanted to study, I wanted to study till my face fell off. Once we finally emploded, which was hard because I adore his family and I didn't want to lose them, I took a new dating approach. No more nice guys.
If a guys seemed to have a future, thanks but no thanks. Been there, done that. I decided perhaps I would have better luck with a "bad boy." Once I secured my new dream boat, who didn't have a job, a car, or an actual residence, I felt like I had met my match. We will call him "Sleeps on sister's couch." "Sleeps on sister's couch" was fun and attractive. At twenty years old that was enough. I took on the same morph into my boyfriend approach. You like to drink? Sweet, I can pound back to back jager shots and not even flinch. You like to hang out at a bar all day long, seven days a week? Awesome, just call me "Norm."
As you can predict, that fizzled quicker than it started. It was a painful, yucky,blah,gag, ending for me that lead me further down the path of being jaded. But luckily for me I met someone who didn't care that I was jaded. He didn't buy into my Miss Independent act and he called all my bluffs. And that is when being in a relationship began to not be so hard.
