The Ex Factor

Thinking back on my dating life makes me make an "I just ate a sour lemon" face. It is painfully embarrassing to think back on the melodramatic verging on coo coo dater I was.  That is why I don't think of it, but as far as telling my tales and getting to the goods I have to think just a little about it.

After my first love fizzled, the internet romance, I moved on to what some would call "my high school sweet heart."  I will be calling him "jazz hands."   "Jazz hands " was a nice person. He and I were together a long time. We became fat Elvis. If that makes sense to you, then you get it and if it doesn't I cannot explain it.

Jazz Hands and I, in hindsight, bickered a lot. I spend most of my time trying to be what I thought he would want me to be.  (This was no fault of his.  This was my own thing.)  If he liked a band, I liked the band just as much.  If he liked  a movie, it was my favorite too. If he wanted to study, I wanted to study till my face fell off.   Once we finally emploded, which was hard because I adore his family and I didn't want to lose them, I took a new dating approach.  No more nice guys.

If a guys seemed to have a future, thanks but no thanks.  Been there, done that.   I decided perhaps I would have better luck with a "bad boy."  Once I secured my new dream boat, who didn't have a job, a car, or an actual residence, I felt like I had met my match.  We will call him "Sleeps on sister's couch."  "Sleeps on sister's couch" was fun and attractive.  At twenty years old that was enough.  I took on the same morph into my boyfriend approach.  You like to drink? Sweet, I can pound back to back jager shots and not even flinch.   You like to hang out  at a bar all day long, seven days a week?   Awesome, just call me "Norm."

As you can predict, that fizzled quicker than it started.  It was a painful, yucky,blah,gag, ending for me that lead me further down the path of being jaded. But luckily for me I met someone who didn't care that I was jaded.  He didn't  buy into my Miss Independent act and he called all my bluffs.  And that is when being in a relationship began to not be so hard.