Thursday, January 17, 2013

Rat in a Cage

My mind is seriously like a rodent on a wheel that just spins around non-stop.  I am always thinking.  I would like to become one of these people that can meditate for hours on end with a still mind.

Here is a sample of my mind for about 15 seconds:
" I wonder what ever happened to DJ Jazzy Jeff.  I could tear up some cheese fries.  I wonder if I should learn to play the trombone.   I hate it when people die...so sad.  Did I put the meat in the fridge?   Did I start the dryer?  I wonder if we should get a puppy.   I wonder if I should have another baby.   I don't really like Jewel.  It seems like I would like Jewel bu truth be told, I really don't.  That spot on the wall drives me crazy.  I wonder if I should paint this entire room."

That kind of random chatter goes on in my mind all day long.   When I do yoga or try to quiet my mind it goes like this:
"Do yoga.  Don't think.  Just be in the moment.  That spot on the wall drives me nuts.   I really hate (insert so in so's name here).  (Relive a moment that made me mad). I am over yoga.  I want to think about stuff.  This not thinking is really driving me nuts.  I wonder what ever happened to Three Non Blondes."

I also most always go to the worst case scenario. Example the other day I woke up and my neck hurt. I am sure most everyone in the world would go "man I slept funny."    I thought, "Oh my god I really hope this isn't meningitis."

I might have adhd....or something. I probably have something. Oh god I hope it isn't serious.

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