Run!

I have always thought it would be cool to be a runner.  The clothes, the mp3 player, the sweat and determination. It all sounds cool.  I could not be less of a runner.   I have three moments that highlight how bad I am at running:

1) I remember vividly a time when I was swinging at day care with another girl.  She did some strange, sudden tumble out of the swing and landed face first in the dirt.  Awesome, I thought.  Hero moment coming right up.  In an honest effort to save the day, I jumped from my swing.  I started to run to get her help but tripped over my own feet and landed right next to her.  There we both were...face down in the dirt.

2) It was probably first grade.  Recess time. For some reason I was extra excited that day to go out and play four square.  I remember hitting the asphalt ready to run like the wind.  I made it a couple of steps and fell, hard onto the asphalt. I beat my face up pretty good.  We had pictures taken soon after, so there is actual photo proof of my injuries.

3) I was in my twenties.  I had been sick.  I went to my parents house to eat dinner.  I had on an awful looking outfit, dirty hair hidden by a hat, and just being honest....yesterday's underwear.  You will understand the importance of my lack of shower later in the story.  After dinner I did something I do often, I drove around listening to music.  It was around 10 or 10:30 at night.  I was driving down the loop.  I noticed a dog in the road.  Hero moment coming right up.  I stopped the car. I could tell this animal was either going to get killed or cause a wreck .  Cars were swerving to miss it.  Anywho....I stopped.  I got close to it and it ran off.  It rain right in front of a car.  The same car that then hit me.  I tried to run.  I proved that "if my life was on the line" I still couldn't run fast enough!  I made it to the side of the road before the car swerved and hit me (because the breaks locked after hitting the animal). The leg I had on the ground in mid-stride broke in to pieces.  As I waited for help to arrive, all I couldn't think of was my mom telling me to always wear clean underwear.  In typical Courtney style I announced to the firemen and police officers that I had not showered and that my hair was greasy and I didn't have on clean underwear. I think one of them quipped after that they wouldn't either. Either they did that or gave me a strange look. I can't remember really that part is foggy.

Now that my lower leg is a mixture of a broken bone (the small one will remain in three pieces  and metal....I really cannot run.  Running around the house playing with my child will leave my leg hurting for a couple of days.

So running is not my thing.  To all my friends, the 5k-ers, the 10k-ers,the sports bra wearing, sweat band flaunting, awesome runner friends...I am jealous.  So Jealous.

Rat in a Cage

My mind is seriously like a rodent on a wheel that just spins around non-stop.  I am always thinking.  I would like to become one of these people that can meditate for hours on end with a still mind.

Here is a sample of my mind for about 15 seconds:
" I wonder what ever happened to DJ Jazzy Jeff.  I could tear up some cheese fries.  I wonder if I should learn to play the trombone.   I hate it when people die...so sad.  Did I put the meat in the fridge?   Did I start the dryer?  I wonder if we should get a puppy.   I wonder if I should have another baby.   I don't really like Jewel.  It seems like I would like Jewel bu truth be told, I really don't.  That spot on the wall drives me crazy.  I wonder if I should paint this entire room."

That kind of random chatter goes on in my mind all day long.   When I do yoga or try to quiet my mind it goes like this:
"Do yoga.  Don't think.  Just be in the moment.  That spot on the wall drives me nuts.   I really hate (insert so in so's name here).  (Relive a moment that made me mad). I am over yoga.  I want to think about stuff.  This not thinking is really driving me nuts.  I wonder what ever happened to Three Non Blondes."

I also most always go to the worst case scenario. Example the other day I woke up and my neck hurt. I am sure most everyone in the world would go "man I slept funny."    I thought, "Oh my god I really hope this isn't meningitis."

I might have adhd....or something. I probably have something. Oh god I hope it isn't serious.