There is No P.E. in the Real World

In school I dreamed of being old enough to not go to school. I dreamed of having a job.  I did this because I knew in the real world exercise didn't exist.  I knew that I could own a treadmill or bike and use it as a coat hanger.

There are few things I have hated more in my life than P.E.  Physical Education=total suckfest in my book.  I literally dreaded it everyday of my school life. The worst part about it was suiting out. I cannot think of a worse torture than being a teenage girl having to change clothes in front of a roomful of other teenage girls.  Not just that but you have to do it twice in one day!!  I had so many little tricks I would do in order to avoid showing skin.  In hindsight, I had so many tricks I would do to cause the hugest scene and ruckus in the locker room.

I had this way of taking my shirt off. I would move around just right where I could have one shirt going on as the other one was coming off. It really minimized any skin showing.  Another trick I had was to wear pantyhose.  Yes...pantyhose.    I would wear pantyhose then wear my shorts over the pantyhose in order to avoid showing my legs.   What is more ridiculous than a pair of skinny, knock-kneed, white legs?   A person wearing pantyhose under their athletic shorts.   That person looks more ridiculous every time I would have to assume. If I didn't have on pantyhose that particular day, I damn sure would have on the world's tallest socks.  That would cover at least the lower half of my legs.

All of this seems so ridiculous now.   At the time the best thing that could have ever happened to me was the need for back surgery. This was my ticket out of P.E. for a while and I knew it.  I was out of school for six weeks. Once I returned, I got to lay down in the nurses office, in a dark room , alone, and nap during P.E. time.   It was amazing.  I would have probably endured six weeks of agony every year if it meant napping during P.E. once it was over.   The saddest day of my life was when the Dr. said I was good to go and needed to exercise.   Back to P.E.  Back to P.E. shorts and pantyhose.